Today, I welcome the author of the successful H.I.V.E. series of children’s books, Mark Walden to Bart’s Bookshelf to talk about the makings of his ‘Ultimate Villain!™’.
Keep reading after the Mark’s post for news of a fantastic giveaway!
As this is the last day of the Aftershock blog tour, I thought that it might be time to talk about a subject that is obviously very close to my heart.
Does shortbread always keep better in a tin?
I then realised that this would be a very stupid subject for my final entry and that I was also a deeply, deeply boring person. Fortunately my six year old daughter was available and she told me to stop being stupid and grow up. It would be a much better idea, she told me, to write about something people might be interested in and she even had a suggestion as to what that might be.
The Ultimate Villain!!! (Three exclamation marks and capitalisation compulsory, obviously.)
So exactly what cocktail of evil would one nix to make the greatest wrong-doer to ever walk the face of the Earth? Here’s what I reckon.
Lex Luthor’s Brain – There are evil geniuses and then there are evil geniuses. Anyone who’s gone toe to toe with Superman and given as good as he’s got so many times has to have something going for him. It’s the perfect example of how brains are just as powerful as brawn. And he doesn’t even have to wear tights…..
Shere Khan’s voice – Obviously this would mean the voice of George Sanders from the Disney version of Kipling’s brilliant book but, you have to admit, no one else does so such a good line in lip-curling contempt while still managing to sound so effortlessly cool.
Darth Vader’s Sith powers – Two words, force choking. ‘Nuff said.
The Joker’s sense of humour – I know that he has a bit of a bad reputation because of the whole insane mass murderer side of things but no one works a one liner like this guy does. You will, quite literally, die laughing.
The shark from Jaws incidental music – Because you need to have a soundtrack that can instil terror before you even show your big toothy face. And no, I’m not talking about Justin Bieber.
Voldemort’s skin-care routine – Because you’re worth it.
A James Bond villain’s interior designer – Anyone who’s read any of the books in the HIVE series will know that I have a weakness for a good monumental secret lair. There weren’t many people who did that better than the bond villains of the sixties and seventies. As you may also know, I’m particularly fond of facilities concealed within volcanoes. Just be sure to choose a dormant volcano, I probably don’t even need to mention it but, it’s just one of those small details that can make a really big difference.
There. I reckon that’s a pretty good working recipe for a world conquering uber-villain so now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to return to the entirely more important matter of advanced biscuit storage solutions…
To celebrate the launch of Aftershock, Bloomsbury have offered the following amazing package for three lucky winners.
A full set of the H.I.V.E books
A pretty amazing prize I think you’ll agree! 😀
How to Enter:
- Comment on this post, letting us know two parts of what would make up your ultimate villain!
For example: My ultimate villain would have Darth Vader’s voice and Voldemort’s ego.
- You must be 13 and above to enter. (If you are between 13-16 – you will need to provide an email address of a parent or guardian.)
Enter email addresses in to the correct box on the comment form, not as part of your comment itself.
- Entry is UK ONLY and closes midnight, GMT – Friday 26th August 2011
- Winners will selected at random and be announced via this blog, Twitter and my Facebook page.
- Please read my contest & privacy policies.
- By entering, it will be assumed you understand and have followed all of the above.